The British geologist Derek Ager once said, “The history of any one part of the Earth, like the life of a soldier, consists of long periods of boredom and short periods of terror.” This quote probably resonates to any undergraduate waiting to hear from graduate programs. The applications were sent, the deadlines passed, all the desperate attempts to let professors know about your pitiful existence were consumed. From here on until the “short period of terror” — the day the undergrad will always mourn or celebrate as the day (s)he got the dreaded email, phone call or letter — it is all an anxious waiting game. Freaking out is the norm, but it cannot be done randomly. For college seniors at the mercy of admission committees around the world, freaking out becomes an art govern by its own set of rules and values.
Above all, you need method. Walking around the room might help your silhouette, but it will not calm you down. Hitting your head against the wall disturbs your neighbors. Talking to friends is even worse — grad schools are the trendiest topic these days. Instead, you must focus your nerdiness in an efficient manner. All email addresses shall be checked every 5 minutes, with the refresh button clicked at least three times — the second time in case the first did not work, and the third in case you have a tie. Don’t forget your ‘Spam’ folder… you never know! The postman shall be stalked and the mailboxes checked at least twice a day. Did you check your phone connection? Are you sure it actually works? You don’t want to take chances, so check it at least every three hours. Then there are websites like GradCafe. These are fantastic, a sort of asylum for folks just as crazy as you are. There you will feel safe and content — you are not alone! Others are freaking out, too! People are posting decisions from the universities where they applied, are praising weekends as islands of long-awaited quiet (who are they trying to fool?!) and are sharing their secrets of coping with stress — yoga, tea, jogging… self-cutting, smacking their little brothers… anything that helps blow off some steam. Refreshing the list of decisions on GradCafe is like opening Christmas presents after a year in which you killed several bugs and a few mice, tried cooking your cat in the microwave and helped your grandma go down the stairs by pushing her from the back. Nothing good can be hidden inside those cute boxes, right? But then, who knows? Santa is old, his memory might be poor. You may still have a chance, so tighten your abs, get ready for a punch and click that refresh button again; this should be done at least every 10 minutes.
Then, there is the planning. How are you going to let the world know about the result? I am still undecided about this. I will definitely call the people who wrote me LORs instead of emailing them, but what about the others? If it is a “yes”, I think I will edit my status on Facebook to, “Georgiana is going to work with AG for the next 6 years! Oh my God!” I don’t even have to tell people the meaning of the acronym — everyone should know it by now. But what if it is a “no”? That would be disappointing, although curiously anticipated. Yet, I am not sure what my status should be then. A simple “Crap!” does not raise to the importance of the moment. Anything more than that would sound pathetic. A compromise would be to post nothing, however this cannot hold forever either — people will start asking questions, as if the whole world is waiting to see the ending of my freaking-out story. But then, since it is an art, I might as well go for an open ending…
